Silent Symphony
by asterisms
Summary: As he sits by the fire, Severus remembers their first dance, and his last.


**Title: **Silent Symphony

**Author: **bats-in-boots

**I don't own Harry Potter**

**Summary: **As he sits near the fire, Severus remembers their first dance, and his last.

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"You remember the shape and color of Lily Evans's eyes, I am sure?"

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Deep in the dungeons of an old castle sits a man. His eyes, for the first time in many years are shedding tears. He pays them no mind as they fall to the carpet, nobody was there after all. Nobody ever was. Not since she was so brutally ripped from his life.

He had loved her so much but still he lost her heart to the man that constantly made a fool of him. And it was his fault, nobody ever said it to him but he knew what they were thinking, he could see it in their eyes. He leaned further back into the large armchair and sighed. The flames in front of him twisted in a strange ethereal dance, he let his head fall back and closed his eyes. Anyone watching him at the moment would be surprised to see the normally cold man relax into an almost trance like state.

_"Come on Sev," called a young girl with flaming hair. "You said it's not far." A boy of nearly ten with overlarge clothes and dark cropped hair followed closely behind. He'd found a little meadow yesterday and had decided to share it with the girl who trotted in front of him. _

_"I wouldn't be so far behind if you go slower." He called to her. She let out a laugh and ran even faster, forcing him to speed up as well. Just then they burst into the clearing. He heard the girl's breath catch and looked over to see her bend over to pluck one of the many white lilies scattered all throughout the meadow. _

_"It's so pretty," she whispered. The boy nodded, unable to speak as the wind blew his hair into his mouth. He heard the girl giggle and tried to hide his blush. The sun broke through the clouds and lit up their clearing, making it look almost magical. Before the boy could stop himself he stepped forward and offered his hand. _

_"Would you care to dance milady?" He asked, bowing low. He looked up to see her smile. _

_"Why of course, good sir." The girl giggled and pulled him to the center. He almost stumbled but caught himself before he could, not wanting to ruin the moment. He spun her around and soon they were twirling all throughout the clearing, sending petals into the air as the wind whipped around them. _

_As they stilled the wind too halted, as if capturing the moment of tranquility. The girl pulled away and looked down. "We'd better go." _

_"Yeah," the boy nodded, "You're right." They set off towards their home again and just before they parted ways the girl caught his hand again. _

_"Thanks for the dance Sev, see you tomorrow." _

The man buried his head in his hands; they had been so young, so innocent. He let out a bitter laugh at that, he couldn't help but think that he had never been innocent. He stood up and began to pace before the fire. Why did these memories torment him so? Had he not already lost the only thing that could save him?

He held back a sob and clenched his fists. It was all Potter's fault; he had been such an arrogant fool. No matter how hard he focused on that thought, there was still a part of him that blamed himself. After all, how could he not. It was he who told the Dark Lord the prophecy. It was he who had bowed before his every nightmare personified.

Are you happy? He asked himself, he'd gotten his revenge. The man who'd taken everything from him was gone, but the cost was too high. He sat back down, as if to finally rest, but was caught up in another memory.

_The twinkling lights hung in strands above him. It was her birthday today, and he'd decorated their clearing for the occasion. As he stared up at the moon he let out a deep sigh. He should have known she wouldn't come. He was such a fool. Why would she come? He knew it wasn't the first time he'd hurt her, but it was the first she hadn't forgiven him. _

_Tears of regret streamed down his face. How many times had he apologized? He'd lost count after the first twenty. But it wasn't enough, it never was. She has Potter now, why would she want you? He shoved that thought away and picked one of the lilies, plucking the petals off one by one. _

_He'd watched some Muggle children down the street do the same. She loves me. She loves me not. It continued down to the very last petal, if he pulled it he would have to acknowledge that she didn't love him, so he let it fall. _

_The wind caught his hair and he followed it into the center of the clearing. He imagined that she was there in his arms and he danced. He twirled around the clearing and tears littered the ground in his wake, soaking into the ground to feed the lilies that he'd once loved. Now they only served as a reminder of what he lost. _

_As he came to a halt, he let out a silent goodbye; she had left him, only to haunt his memories like a ghost that won't go away. _

The man was startled from his thought as he heard a knock on the door. He wiped away his tears and stood to go open it. Nobody would ever know of these moments of weakness. Nobody would even care. The only person who ever did had been killed because of his own foolish ideas of power. He met the Headmaster at the door and locked away his feelings. She was never coming back.

Never again would they dance to their silent symphony.

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The quote is from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, page 678.


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